Today’s prompt is “How did you discover you were kinky?” It’s going to be a short one, because the next one is to write about my early experiences that hinted at being kinky, and there’s so much overlap that I’m trying hard to separate the two. So here we go… how did I discover my kinky side?
The answer to that can be boiled down to two words: Dan Savage. Dan Savage is a sex and relationship advice columnist, and he used to have a tiny column in a local college zine where I’m from. He was syndicated all over, but mostly running in small college papers at the time. His column is “Savage Love” and covers everything from sex, kinks, relationships, family, coming out – you name it, he’s probably covered it. Especially the kinks.
When I was in my formative years, the internet was barely “a thing” and certainly people used it for porn, but not nearly to the degree as we do now. VHS tapes were still around for porn. So searching for someone who shared your kink was considerably harder. Dan Savage was sort of the go-to person if you had a weird kink question, needed advice about how to pull off a scene, or just needed reassurance that you were not, in fact, a total freak (or you were, whatever floats your boat).
I discovered Dan, as I said, through a zine published through my local college. I started reading covertly, because I knew my parents would flip out, and became a devoted follower (I’d say devotee, but that’s not the connotation I’m going for). I love Dan’s podcasts, videos, daily letters, and columns. Through his work, I realized that my simple desires weren’t nearly the weirdest thing he had heard of, and that there were people out there like me. It changed my life.
When I was discussing this post with Pet, she suggested another venue for my self-discovery: fan fiction. That’s not far off base. I’ve read a lot of fanfic in my time, and I’ve read a lot of weird stuff (well, weird to me). Blood play, knife play, watersports, enemas, and more. Not all of it has floated my boat, but some of it surely has piqued my interest.
So, readers, what has sparked your kinky desires? How did you know you were kinky, too?